Dads know.  

“I actually don’t even drink soda anymore, Dad. For one thing, it tastes awful to me. So sticky and oversweetened. Like candy tar. And I can’t get that mental image out of my head of it just pouring down my throat to make a black, bubbling acid pit in my stomach. Once you have that image in your brain, I don’t even see how soda is drinkable. I guess it means I’m growing up — that I’m starting to take a little more pride in being healthy and watching what I eat and drink. You should think about giving up soda too.”

“Yeah, all that makes sense, especially considering the 20 beers you pour in your body every weekend.”

Annnd checkmate.